Sometimes the worst feeling is not that of actually going through a breakup, but the feeling you have before you are able to muster up the courage to go through with it.
You’re thinking about all the good times, all the love that was in the relationship before.
There’s something in your gut that just doesn’t want to be alone.
There was a time where you thought the two of you were going to last forever.
Maybe you even talked about getting married, having kids, and buying a house someday.
But, somewhere along the road, you both went in opposite directions.
And that’s ok.
All I can really say to assure you is – if you’re in a relationship, you probably wouldn’t be interested in this blog post if some part of you didn’t feel this way deep in your gut.
If you’re still unsure or if you just need some reassurance, keep reading to find out if it’s time to think about ending your relationship…
Your partner no longer makes you happy.
In any healthy relationship, your partner is going to get on your nerves from time to time, but if it seems like they can’t do anything right, it might be time to think about ending things.
Maybe lately you find yourself wanting to be away from him/her, and other things seem to make you happier than your partner.
Does it feel nice to just be alone? Maybe you now associate your partner with discomfort or disagreements, rather than a place of love and comfort.
You find yourself wanting to spend more time with family and friends, making every event and scheduled date with them an absolute must to attend. Before, you may have skipped a couple of them to hang out with your S.O.
It’s completely normal to enjoy your alone time, but to never want to spend time with your partner is not healthy.
When you’re constantly looking forward to being away from your partner, that’s a huge red flag.
You feel emotionally ready to leave the relationship.
You are already thinking about all the things you can do once you’re free of the relationship. The thought of leaving makes you feel happy and hopeful.
Of course, you’re still going to feel sad and maybe even depressed that this relationship is ending. That’s completely normal and to be expected; however, it’s a different kind of heartbreak when you’re a grown woman who’s gone through it before with previous relationships.
You know you got through it once, and as much as it sucks, you can get through it again.
Maybe you’ve never gone through a breakup. If you know in your heart that this is not the person for you, it is time to talk to your friends or a loved one about breakups and seek advice.
One thing that helped me in the past was using Pinterest to make a board of awesome quotes about being single and having a positive outlook on this new chapter of your life.
You and your partner have talked about the possibility of breaking up.
Have you and your partner talked about what would happen if you were to separate?
Maybe you’ve had arguments and threatened to leave.
If you have seriously had this conversation, and you both seem to be just sticking around past the expiration, it’s probably time to let go.
Fights have turned sour.
Disagreements are to be expected in any relationship – they should more often than not come to a compromise because you both value one another’s opinion and can agree to disagree and move on without resentment.
It’s a totally different thing when fights turn to name calling, low blows, and other forms of disrespect.
Maybe you go to bed angry and don’t make up. Or things get pushed under the rug and not resolved.
If you feel like you’re the only one adding any value to your disagreements, then it can be hard to continue to trust your partner.
You may feel like your partner has given up if he/she doesn’t want to participate in a conversation about a disagreement.
You don’t even care anymore.
If you’ve been battling with the thought of breaking up for a while, once you get to the stage of apathy, it’s kind of a relief.
You finally feel like a breakup is just a matter of when at this point. You aren’t bothered or worried. You have complete confidence that you will get out alive.
You stop caring about the things your partner does that irritate you because you know deep down you won’t be dealing with it for much longer.
You start being more independent and doing things that you enjoyed before your relationship. Maybe you reconnect with friends you’ve lost touch with or plan a fun trip with your bestie.
You stop thinking about the future of the relationship. You are only thinking about doing the right things for yourself.
You get better about your self-care. Maybe you start a new routine or go get your nails done.
If you’re living together, you may start looking for other living arrangements for when the time comes.
This may be a rather gloomy blog post, but I feel like this is something that should be talked about.
Not everything is going to be happy and bright all the time, especially relationships.
But please remember relationships don’t have to be complete hell for you to want to leave.
They also don’t have to be perfect for them to work out.
You don’t have to wait until it gets to a point of no return. You don’t need to have a ride or die mentality when it comes to relationships.
Rather, you should try to have a love and trust mentality.
There are so many things that come into a relationship that can make it flourish or die.
You should think about leaving when you feel like you’ve done all you can (or want to) do to help remedy the situation.
Every relationship is different, and I can’t make your mind up for you.
But, if you resonated with this blog, it’s probably time to start thinking about your future without your partner.
Feel free to reach out to me in the comments or on Instagram @selflovescript.