Let’s start this post out straight up. Where is this pressure to be everything (and more) coming from and how do we get rid of it? Like really. These insane expectations have got to go.
I’m talking about the pressure society puts on people as a whole – not just us ladies which is who I’m usually blogging about. This one is for everyone.
How many times have you felt pressured by another for any of the following reasons?
Have a high-paying job that allows you to also have a picture perfect work-life balance
Physically show up a certain way
Only talk about surface-level ideas and topics, fearing that you’ll be judged. This one is the worst. Especially when you think about all the “not deep” convos you have on the daily. Do we even know how to get to know people these days?
Eat (or not eat) a certain way – like seriously? Sometimes I’m pressured to eat less than what is going to make me satisfied for fear that someone else will think I’m eating too much.
Be at a certain point in your life at a certain age. Sometimes it’s hard being 26, not married, no kids, and still renting an apartment.
And only like a million more things I could list out. I think you get the point.
How about this… how many of these things that pressure you have actually become a habit for you? You find yourself more often than not, succumbing to these ideas that someone else put in your mind. Changing yourself for someone else – to meet someone else’s standards.
Why is everything else except what we already have or do an expectation? Why is it so hard to just be satisfied with where we’re currently at? Congratulate ourselves for how much we’ve accomplished? How badass we are? How we are still pushing even when life and others so carelessly bring us down?
These things are called pressure because they build up inside of us and eventually, we “explode”. We have a terrible day. We become anxious and/or depressed. We can’t leave the house. We can barely make it to work. We avoid others. We can’t seem to get these thoughts out of our heads.
Then, we snap out of it. This is what I like to call the “pep talk period“.
This is when we realize how completely nonsensical it is to let these outside judgments (or just a fear of judgment) stop us from being ourselves. This is when we re-gain momentum and pledge to have a fresh start.
Think of this as when you’re trying to “eat healthy” and you finally cave and eat that pizza. After that, something comes over you and you decide tomorrow is a new day. Tomorrow you’ll “be better”.
Until this vicious cycle continues…
So, really – how do we stop letting these standards (some of which we’ve been dealing with for our whole existence) stop ruling our lives?
For starters – we speak (and think) kindly of ourselves and of others. What you put out into the world comes back to you. Put out kindness and positivity, expect to get that in return.
Cut off negative people. So, you can’t really get rid of your bitchy co-worker or your over-bearing family member, but you can choose to walk the other way, take a deep breath, and accept the things you cannot change.
Pick up a hobby. Is there something you’ve always wanted to do, but haven’t taken the plunge yet? Now is the perfect time. Let the last thing you worry about be someone else’s opinion of what you should or should not be doing in your spare time. Anyone who has time for that really isn’t even worth your stress anyway.
Lastly, stop being so hard on yourself.
Clearly you’re already the type of person who wants to better yourself. Anyone on the same mission is going through the same struggles that you are. It’s ok to not feel 100% on your A-Game at all times.
If you get anything out of this post – just please remember, the only person you should be trying to impress should be the person you were yesterday. And even she would go easy on you.